


Regrets

by obsessivemuch



Category: Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles
Genre: 1000 words, 2009, Canon Compliant, Character Study, Community: picfor1000, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-02-28
Updated: 2009-02-28
Packaged: 2017-10-28 13:36:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 998
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/308405
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/obsessivemuch/pseuds/obsessivemuch
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Cameron doesn't understand regret, but she still feels it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Regrets

**Author's Note:**

> Written for 2009 Picture for 1000 Words challenge - Picture is located [here](http://www.flickr.com/photos/brownphotography/137898808/sizes/m/)

It's not that she regrets what she's about to do. She doesn't even understand regret except she thinks that she might regret trying to kill him now and in the future. The girl's fear seeps from her glands, but though he has named her girlfriend, Cameron has a different name for her: threat. Instead, she spends her days watching, waiting for the day that John drops his guard and lets something slip to the girl. Once she would not have had to justify such a death, but she overrides her programming every minute of every day. Terminating John Connor is not an option. Terminating the girl is no exception; John cares for the girl, not the way that he cares for Sarah or Derek Reese, but he cares enough that she thinks he would destroy her for such an act in retaliation. He is not her John yet and he still fights against his destiny and what he will become. She bides her time instead, visiting the library in the middle of the night to learn, watching the girl in ways that make John annoyed, and maintaining her focus on the mission she has given herself.

Protect me no matter what, her John had said, brushing her hair back away from her eyes with an affectionate touch. Her current programming says the opposite, but she listens to the exasperation in this John's eyes and the tenuous unknowing trust Sarah places in her every day. She is not programmed with free will because she is a child of Skynet (and John Connor), but she makes that choice anyway. In the hospital while John wonders about the girl's suicide attempt, the alarm in Cameron's chip sounds louder than it ever has. He is beginning to choose the girl over his own safety and the mission (No matter what, his voice echoes in her head) . Her John was never specific about what he was to be protected from other than Skynet, but Cameron believes that heartbreak is implied in the order and he is already grieving for the girl. After a long moment, she moves toward John, takes the seat next to him, and waits patiently. He asks what he would do in the future. Cameron sees no reason to lie to him. "Future you has more important things to do." A flicker of acknowledgement in his eyes and he looks away.

Cameron watches the hallway for signs of danger. In her peripheral vision, she catches sight of a surveillance monitor. It would not be important except she sees the figure that slips into the girl's hospital room. She looks at John just long enough to gauge his slouched body language before she turns her whole attention to the screen. The figure comes out of the room, glances around, and impatiently pulls the girl into the hallway. She grasps her arm roughly and leads her away from the crowded nurse's station, away from John and Cameron. Cameron watches her go dispassionately. There is no longer a reason for them to be at the hospital, but she gives the girl a chance to go. If she leaves now, there will be no point to destroying the girl – it would only anger John and create unnecessary strife. But the doctor tells them that the girl's missing which ends any chance of keeping John unaware.

He gives her an order and she refuses to waste her time on looking for the girl. As long as she is far away from John, she is no longer a threat. He starts to stalk off and she reaches for his arm, her touch purposely gentle so as not to hurt him accidentally. "No, we don't need to find her," she says in a level voice. His eyes sear into hers, but it's her turn to walk away. She doesn't wait to see if he follows because she knows he needs his space. He'll hate her for the moment, but in the end, he'll come around; his future self always did when she was too logical. He doesn't speak to her for several hours, but she notices that he doesn't spend much time focused on the girl either once Sarah calls.

It's been days since he mentioned the girl to her and Cameron is almost convinced that he's taken her words to heart. There are more important things to do than finding the girl or killing her. John's preoccupation with Sarah's sleep problem keeps things neat and tidy. When the girl appears on their doorstep, Cameron is forced to reconsider her options. It's even more problematic when the girl finds out that she's a machine and runs to Sarah, screaming for her destruction. Sarah's suspicion shows on her face, but Cameron's eyes find John's instead and the innocence within. The girl is more dangerous now; she's out of time and far too close to the boy who will lead the resistance. Cameron meets Sarah's eyes and sees the imperceptible nod. Derek avoids her gaze, but the knowledge shows on his face. Only John would object so he won't know the details until it's done. It will have to be an accident, maybe even suicide, to keep her foster parents out of it.

Later as Cameron watches the blood seep out of the girl's fresh cuts, she doesn't regret what she has to do to protect John. She only regrets that John will feel pain when he discovers her body. The heartbreak he feels now will be nothing to the heartbreak he would feel at the girl's eventual betrayal. There are only three people he can afford to trust and none of them live outside their home. As the girl takes her last breath, Cameron wipes the knife and sets it down next to the girl. Her phone rings. "Yes, I'll be home for dinner," she says and giggles appropriately because John makes a joke. She closes the door behind her. She won't regret protecting John no matter what.


End file.
